Personal Safety & Boundaries
What Is a Safe Adult? Helping Your Child Identify Theirs
A practical guide for UK parents of children aged 5 to 10 — including examples, how to have the conversation, and why the language matters more than you might think.
Most parents know instinctively that they want their child to have trusted adults in their life — people they can go to when something feels wrong, when they are worried, or when they need help that a child cannot navigate alone. “If anything happens, tell a trusted adult” is one of the most common pieces of safety advice given to children in UK homes and schools.
But here is something worth knowing: the UK’s leading child protection charity has moved away from the phrase “trusted adults” entirely. Not because the idea is wrong — it is absolutely right — but because the language can be genuinely confusing for young children. And understanding why that is helps parents have a far more useful conversation.
This guide explains what trusted adults for children really means, the important distinction the NSPCC now draws, practical examples of who might be on your child’s list, and how to help your child name their own safe adults — at every age from 5 to 10.
What Does “Trusted Adults for Children” Actually Mean?
When we talk about trusted adults for children, we are talking about the specific people in a child’s life who are genuinely safe to go to — people who will listen without judgement, take the child seriously, keep them safe, and never ask them to keep a worrying secret. These are not just any adult. They are named, known people that a child can genuinely reach.
The NSPCC, which runs the UK-wide Speak out Stay safe programme in primary schools, has made an important shift in how it talks about this. Their guidance now uses “safe adults” rather than “trusted adults” — and the reason matters. As the NSPCC explains, trust is a complicated and subjective term. It can be misplaced, it can be exploited, and some children — particularly those who have experienced difficult relationships — find it hard to trust anyone at all. Asking a child to “speak to someone you trust” puts the full weight of judgement on the child, when what they actually need is help identifying specific, named, genuinely safe people.
For a parent, this is a practical insight: the goal is not to teach a child to trust broadly, but to help them name a small number of specific people they know and can reach. That is a much clearer, more achievable task — and a much safer one.
The goal is not to teach a child to trust broadly. It is to help them name a small number of specific people they know, can reach, and feel genuinely safe with.
Informed by NSPCC Speak out Stay safe guidance
What Makes an Adult Safe?
Before looking at examples, it helps to understand what actually makes an adult safe for a child to go to. These characteristics are drawn from the NSPCC’s guidance on safe adults and from the broader safeguarding framework taught in UK primary schools.
1
They listen without dismissing
A safe adult takes what a child says seriously. They do not immediately minimise, explain away, or tell the child not to worry.
2
They never ask for secrecy
A safe adult does not put pressure on a child to keep things private. They support the child in telling other safe adults when it matters.
3
The child feels comfortable around them
A child does not need to be best friends with a safe adult — but they should feel relaxed, not anxious or pressured, in that person’s company.
4
They are reachable
A safe adult is not just someone nice in theory. They are someone the child can actually get to — at home, at school, or in the community — when something feels wrong.
Meet Guy the Guardian Gecko
Guy the Guardian Gecko
Guy is the Guardian — the steady, dependable presence who always shows up. In the Guy & Cesar world, Guy is exactly what a safe adult looks like for a child: calm, consistent, a good listener, and someone who never asks a child to keep a worrying secret. He shows children that safe adults exist, and that going to one is always the right move.
Trusted Adults for Children — Examples and Who Might Be on the List
When parents ask for examples of trusted adults for children, they are usually trying to help their child think beyond “just Mum and Dad.” That is exactly the right instinct. A child who only has one or two safe adults — and one of them is unavailable at the moment they need help — is vulnerable in a way that a child with a small, spread-out network is not.
Here are examples of the kinds of people who typically make good safe adults for children aged 5 to 10:
At home
Parents or carers, a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, an older sibling who is an adult — anyone who lives nearby and knows the child well.
At school
A class teacher, a teaching assistant the child is comfortable with, a school counsellor, a pastoral lead, or a lunchtime supervisor the child knows well.
In the community
A family friend the child has known for years, a neighbour the family trusts, a youth worker or club leader in a properly regulated setting.
If no one else is available
Childline is available to any child 24 hours a day — free, confidential, and specifically designed for children who need to speak to someone safe. 0800 1111 or childline.org.uk.
One important note: safe adults are not automatically safe just because they are known to the family or hold a role of authority. A child should be able to name specific people — not a category — and they should feel comfortable with that person themselves. Your child’s list will be different from another child’s, and that is completely normal.
How to Help Your Child Name Their Safe Adults
The conversation does not have to be a formal sit-down. In fact, it usually works better when it happens naturally — on a walk, in the car, or during a quiet moment at home. The aim is to give your child a short, named list of people they know, in different parts of their life, who they are confident they could go to.
Try these gentle prompts to start:
“If something happened at school and I wasn’t there — who at school would you go to?”
“If you were worried about something and didn’t want to tell me first — who else would feel safe to talk to?”
“Can you think of three grown-ups — one at home, one at school, one somewhere else — who you know would help you?”
Once your child has named some people, you can gently reinforce what makes those people safe: they listen, they do not make you feel bad for telling them, they would not ask you to keep a secret that worries you. You are not lecturing — you are confirming something your child already senses.
What to Say, Age by Age
The way you introduce this conversation changes as your child grows. These starting points can be adapted to your child and your situation.
Ages 5 to 6
“There are special grown-ups who are always safe to go to if something feels wrong. Let’s think of who yours are — maybe Mummy, and Gran, and your teacher Mrs Ahmed. Those are your safe people.”
Ages 7 to 8
“If something ever felt wrong and you were not sure what to do, I want you to have a few people you know you could go to. Let’s make a list — not just me, but people at school and somewhere else too.”
Ages 9 to 10
“Everyone needs a small group of people they know they can go to if something difficult happens — your safe circle. Who would be in yours? Think about someone at home, someone at school, and someone else you know well.”
💚 Once your child knows who their safe adults are, the next step is making sure they have the words to speak up. The Using Your Voice bundle helps children find the language to share what they are feeling — even when it feels hard.
This Is Not a One-Time Conversation
A child’s safe circle changes as they grow. The teacher who felt safe in Year 2 may have moved on by Year 4. A grandparent may become less available. New people enter a child’s life — a new school, a new club, a new family friend. The list needs revisiting gently every year or so, not as a formal exercise but as a natural check-in.
The most important thing is that your child knows the concept exists, knows they have people they can name, and knows — above all — that coming to a safe adult when something feels wrong is always the right thing to do. Not a betrayal. Not a weakness. The right thing.
Help Your Child Build Their Safe Circle
The Safe Circle bundle gives your family a calm, story-led way to talk about safe adults, personal safety, and the people your child can always turn to. Storybook and Adult Toolkit. Just £19.99.