Children, Screens & Digital Life

How to Help Children Spot Harmful Online Influences (Ages 5–10)

Calm conversations and simple habits that help children aged 5 to 10 notice unkind, unsafe or misleading online messages before they copy them.

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To help children spot harmful online influences, talk about what they watch, teach them three simple questions to ask, and stay calm when they repeat something unkind. Children aged 5 to 10 copy what looks popular, so they need a Safe Adult who helps them notice what a video is really teaching.

When children spend time online, they are not only watching videos or playing games. They are also taking in messages about how people speak, how they treat others and what kind of behaviour gets attention. This guide explains what harmful influences look like at this age, the signs to watch for, what to say, and how parents and schools can work together.

What are harmful online influences?

A harmful online influence is content, a person or a trend that quietly teaches children something unhealthy, such as that cruelty is funny, that being rude is the same as being confident, or that popularity matters more than kindness. It is different from a single upsetting video, which shocks a child once. An influence works slowly, through repetition.

Not all of it looks extreme. It often arrives as humour, a catchphrase or a role model who makes disrespect look clever. Common examples include:

  • “Funny” clips that mock or belittle people
  • Videos that reward shock, meanness or humiliation
  • Creators who present disrespect or control as confidence
  • Repeated messages that make empathy look weak
  • Trends and challenges that push children to copy risky or unkind behaviour
  • Content designed mainly to get a big reaction, clicks or money

A child of 6 or 7 may not understand the deeper meaning of what they see. They simply notice that it looks popular, powerful or attention-grabbing, and they copy it.

Why are children aged 5 to 10 so open to influence?

Younger children learn by copying. They also find it harder to tell what is real from what is made to persuade, which is why adults need to help them build that skill step by step.

What the research says

88%

of children aged 3 to 17 in the UK used YouTube in 2024

Ofcom, Children and parents: media use and attitudes report, May 2025

Ofcom’s 2025 report found that YouTube is used by 88% of children aged 3 to 17, and that 44% of 3 to 12-year-olds have a YouTube or YouTube Kids profile. It also found that 77% of parents of 3 to 12-year-olds worry that their child cannot tell what is real from what is fake online. So most children are watching, and many parents already sense that judging what they see is hard for young minds.

Videos also play one after another, and recommendations can keep suggesting similar content. A child may drift from something harmless to something that models unkind behaviour without ever choosing it.

What signs show a child may be taking in harmful influences?

One sign on its own proves nothing, and children try out new words all the time. It is worth paying attention when several signs appear together or keep returning.

  • Copying mocking, rude or controlling language
  • Repeating ideas they do not fully understand
  • Laughing at cruelty or humiliation
  • Speaking harshly about other people
  • Becoming more secretive about what they watch
  • Acting as if kindness is weak or boring
  • Showing less empathy when someone is upset
  • Pushing boundaries to test power or reaction

It does not mean your child is “bad”. It usually means they have picked up something they do not yet know how to judge, and they need calm guidance.

What should you do when your child repeats something unkind?

Stay calm and curious first. A strong reaction can make a child hide what they have seen, or repeat the behaviour because it got attention. Questions open the conversation, while lectures close it.

1

Pause and breathe

Keep your face and voice steady. Children read your reaction to decide whether it is safe to be honest with you.

2

Ask where it came from

Try, “That is an interesting thing to say. Where did you hear that?” or “Was that in a video or a game?”

3

Find out what they think it means

Ask, “Can you tell me what you think that means?” Often a child is repeating words they do not understand.

4

Link it to feelings

Ask, “How do you think that would make someone feel?” This builds empathy without shaming them.

5

Set a clear, kind boundary

Say, “We do not talk to people like that in our family, even if it is funny online.” Keep it short and move on.

If the content turns out to be frightening rather than unkind, our guide on what to do if your child sees upsetting content online covers the first steps and where to report it.

How do you explain the difference between confidence and harm?

Children often see loud, bold behaviour rewarded online, so it helps to give them clear, simple pairs of ideas they can hold on to. You can explain that:

  • Being confident does not mean being unkind
  • Being funny does not mean humiliating someone
  • Being strong does not mean frightening people
  • Being popular does not mean being right
  • Not everything online deserves to be copied

These distinctions help children build an inner compass. They learn to judge behaviour by whether it is safe, respectful and kind, instead of by how exciting it looks.

What three questions can children ask about anything online?

One of the most protective skills a child can learn is to pause. For ages 5 to 10, a short checklist works better than a long explanation. Teach three questions and practise them until they feel natural.

💚 Is it kind? Is it safe? Would a Safe Adult be happy with this? If the answer to any of them is no, we stop and tell a Safe Adult.

You can add extra questions for older children, such as “Is this trying to help, or just to shock people?” and “Why do you think someone made this?” Over time, children learn that people make content for many reasons, including to get attention, to sell something or to make money.

This is the same habit that protects children from scams and tricks, so it is worth teaching them together. Our guide on how to teach children to spot fake messages shows how the pause works in practice.

How do you make online conversations part of everyday life?

Children are more likely to ask for help when talking about screens is normal, not a special event after something has gone wrong. Short, regular check-ins work better than one big internet safety talk.

  • “What did you watch today?”
  • “Did anything online feel confusing?”
  • “Did you see anything unkind?”
  • “Was anything trying to make people look silly or weak?”
  • “Did anything make you feel uncomfortable?”

Pick a relaxed moment, such as the walk home, tea time or bedtime. Listen more than you talk, and thank your child when they share something, even if it is minor. That teaches them that telling you is welcome. Our guide on how to talk to your child about screen time has more ideas for making this a habit without a row.

What can you do about the content itself?

Conversation matters most, but a few practical steps reduce how often children meet unhealthy content.

  • Keep devices in shared spaces, especially for younger children
  • Use child profiles, YouTube Kids or other age-appropriate settings where they are available
  • Turn off autoplay where the app lets you
  • Watch or explore new content together when you can
  • Notice what your child keeps coming back to, and ask about it with curiosity
  • Use the block, mute and report tools in the app if something is unkind or unsafe

Ofcom’s children’s safety rules require services likely to be used by children in the UK to take steps to protect them from harmful content, but no setting catches everything. Your attention and your child’s own judgement remain the strongest protection.

Personal information is another area where influences can lead children astray, because some games and creators encourage sharing names, schools or locations. Our guide on personal information online for children explains what to keep private.

What can parents and schools do together?

Children benefit most when home and school say the same thing. If a phrase, trend or video is spreading through a class, adults can address it early and calmly, before it becomes normal.

At home

  • Agree a simple family rule: we tell a Safe Adult if something online feels unkind, unsafe or confusing
  • Talk openly about kindness, boundaries and respect
  • Correct unhealthy ideas without shaming your child
  • Be a model: children notice how adults speak online too

At school

  • Use short class conversations about what makes content kind or unkind
  • Let parents know when a trend or phrase is circulating
  • Give children a clear person to tell, and make it easy to do so
  • Link online behaviour to the school’s existing values on respect

If patterns appear, such as a child repeatedly using hurtful language or being targeted by it, speak to the class teacher or the school’s designated safeguarding lead so home and school can respond together.

What if a child is the one being unkind?

Sometimes the child repeating unkind content is the one hurting others. Treat it as something to teach, not a character flaw. Ask what they thought was funny, explain how the other person might feel, and agree what they will do differently, such as apologising or choosing different videos.

Keep the consequence short and linked to the behaviour. A brief pause from a particular app or video type works better than a long ban, because a long ban can make a child secretive. The aim is for them to want to tell you what they see.

When should you ask for more support?

Most children need calm guidance, not specialist help. It is worth asking for more support if unkind or frightening behaviour keeps growing, if your child seems anxious or withdrawn, or if they are being targeted by others.

Speak to your child’s school or your GP in the first instance. The NSPCC helpline for adults is on 0808 800 5000, and children can call Childline free on 0800 1111, which is open to under-19s. If you think a child is in immediate danger, call 999.

Meet Milo the Monkey

Milo the Monkey from the Guy and Cesar universe, the curious, playful character who helps children make safe choices on screens and know when to tell a Safe Adult

Milo the Monkey

Milo is curious and playful, but he knows that when something online feels wrong, the smartest move is to stop, think and tell a Safe Adult. In the Guy & Cesar world, Milo helps children understand that making safe choices on screens is something anyone can learn, and that speaking up is always the bravest option.

💚 If you would like a structured way to have these conversations, the Safe Choices on Screens adult toolkit pack is our online safety toolkit for parents and carers of children aged 5 to 10.

Common Questions Parents Ask

What is a harmful online influence?

It is content, a creator or a trend that slowly teaches children unhealthy ideas, such as that cruelty is funny or that disrespect is confidence. It works through repetition, so it is different from a single shocking video.

At what age should I start talking about this?

Start as soon as your child watches videos or plays online, which for many children is before age 5. Keep it simple and short at first, using ideas like kind, safe and telling a Safe Adult.

How do I know if my child is copying something harmful?

Look for patterns, such as new mocking language, less empathy, secrecy about what they watch or testing boundaries. One sign alone is rarely a worry, but several together are worth a gentle conversation.

Should I ban the video or app?

Not usually. A ban can make children secretive. Talk first, set a clear boundary, use the app’s controls and watch together. Remove something only if it keeps causing harm.

What if my child says everyone at school watches it?

Take it seriously, because popularity makes content harder to resist. Say you understand it is popular, explain your family values, and talk to the school so adults can address it with the whole class.

Final Thoughts

Harmful online influences do not always arrive in obvious ways. Sometimes they appear through humour, trends and role models who make disrespect look normal. That is why adults should ask not only whether content is safe in a technical sense, but also what it is teaching. When you stay calm, keep conversations open and give children a simple way to pause, they learn that real confidence is respectful, real strength is safe, and real influence should never come at someone else’s expense.

Sources

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