Children, Screens & Digital Life
What to Do If Your Child Sees Something Upsetting Online
A calm, practical guide for UK parents of children aged 5 to 10 — and a reassuring place to start.
It might have already happened in your home — a video that appeared from nowhere, a picture that flashed up before you could stop it, something older children were watching that a younger child stumbled into. Or perhaps it hasn’t happened yet, and you’re wondering what you’d do if it did.
Either way, the research is clear on one thing: upsetting content online is not rare. It is a normal part of children growing up in a connected world. The question is not really whether your child will encounter something that worries them — it is whether they feel safe enough to tell you when they do.
This guide covers what to do in the moment, what to say, how to make it less likely to happen again, and when to report something more serious. It is written for parents of children aged 5 to 10.
When a child sees upsetting content online, most parents’ first instinct is to worry about what was seen. The research suggests the bigger question is whether your child feels safe enough to tell you — and what happens when they do.
It Happens More Than Most Parents Realise
One of the most useful things Ofcom’s research has given us is a clear picture of the gap between what children experience online and what they tell their parents about.
children aged 8 to 17 say they have seen something worrying or nasty online in the last 12 months, according to Ofcom research — but only 1 in 5 parents say their child told them about it.
That gap — between the children who see something upsetting and the children who tell a parent — is exactly what this article is designed to close. Because if a child who sees something upsetting online feels safe to come to you, you can help them make sense of it. And if they feel they cannot, they carry it quietly on their own.
The goal isn’t to prevent every upsetting thing your child might see online. It’s to make sure they feel safe enough to tell you when they do.
Informed by NSPCC, Childnet and UK Safer Internet Centre guidance
Meet Milo the Monkey
Milo the Monkey
Milo is curious and playful — but he knows that when something online feels wrong, the smartest move is to stop, think, and tell a trusted adult. In the Guy & Cesar world, Milo helps children understand that making safe choices on screens is something anyone can learn, and that speaking up is always the bravest option.
The Most Important Thing You Can Do Right Now
If your child has just come to you having seen something upsetting, the single most important thing is how you respond in that first moment. It will determine whether they come to you next time.
Stay calm. Even if what they describe shocks or worries you, your reaction is what your child will remember. A calm, matter-of-fact response tells them they did the right thing by telling you.
Don’t take away their device. It is instinctive, but if confiscating a screen is the first thing that happens when a child reports something upsetting, they quickly learn that telling you leads to a punishment. The opposite of what you want.
Reassure them immediately. “Thank you for telling me. You’re not in trouble. I’m really glad you came to me.” Those three sentences matter more than anything else you could say.
What to Say When It Happens — Five Calm Steps
Once the immediate moment has passed and everyone is calm, here is a gentle, practical sequence that works well with children aged 5 to 10.
1
Ask open questions gently
“Can you tell me a bit about what you saw?” rather than “Where were you? Why were you on that site?” The first invites; the second interrogates.
2
Validate what they’re feeling
“That does sound scary. It makes sense you felt worried.” Naming the feeling and confirming it is normal helps a child settle faster than any explanation.
3
Explain clearly but briefly
Keep it simple: “Some things online are made for adults and can feel scary or confusing — especially if you weren’t expecting them. That’s not your fault at all.”
4
Reinforce that telling you was right
“I am always glad when you tell me about things like this, whatever they are. You will never get in trouble for coming to me.” Say this every time. It keeps the door open.
5
Check in again later
A quick “How are you feeling about what you saw earlier?” at bedtime shows your child the conversation is still open and that you haven’t forgotten.
What to Say, Age by Age
Children process upsetting content differently at different ages. These gentle scripts can be adapted to your situation.
Ages 5 to 6
“That sounded scary, didn’t it? Some things online are only for grown-ups, just like some films. If you ever see something that makes your tummy feel funny, come and tell me straight away — I will always help.”
Ages 7 to 8
“The internet has all sorts of things on it, and sometimes things appear that are meant for adults. That’s not your fault — it happens to lots of children. The important thing is you told me. That was exactly the right thing to do.”
Ages 9 to 10
“You’re going to come across things online that are upsetting, confusing or just plain weird — everyone does. I’d rather you tell me than try to deal with it alone. And if something really concerns you, we can report it together.”
🛡️ Children cope better online when they know which adults in their life are safe to tell. The Safe Circle bundle helps your child name their circle of trusted adults — the people they can always go to.
How to Make It Less Likely to Happen Again
Parental controls on your home wifi and on individual devices can significantly reduce the chances of your child stumbling across inappropriate content. They are worth setting up, and most UK broadband providers offer them for free.
But it is important to be honest with yourself — and with your child — about their limits. The NSPCC is clear that content filters are never completely effective, and that almost every child will eventually see something that worries them online. Parental controls are a helpful layer of protection, not an alternative to the conversation.
If your child has seen something through a specific app or platform, it is also worth looking at the in-app safety settings, reviewing age ratings, and — for older children in this age group — having a look together at what they follow and why.
When to Report It
Most upsetting content — a scary video, an inappropriate image, confusing or hateful comments — does not need to be formally reported. Talking it through is usually enough. But some content does, and it is worth knowing what to do.
🛡️ Reporting serious content. If your child has seen something that appears to involve the abuse or exploitation of a child, report it to CEOP (the National Crime Agency’s Child Exploitation and Online Protection command) at ceop.police.uk. For other harmful content, most platforms have an in-app report button. If you are unsure what to do, the NSPCC Helpline can advise: 0808 800 5000, free, 7 days a week. Children can contact Childline at any time on 0800 1111 or at childline.org.uk.
Keep Talking
The families who handle this well are not the ones who have the strictest controls or the most restricted devices. They are the ones who talk about the online world regularly, openly, and without making it a big dramatic event — so that when something does go wrong, a child already knows they can tell you.
You do not have to have every answer. You just have to stay calm, stay open, and keep letting your child know that whatever they see online, you are the person they can come to.
And when they do come to you — when a child sees upsetting content online and chooses to tell a trusted adult rather than sit with it alone — that moment matters far more than any filter or parental control setting could.
Help Your Child Make Safe Choices Online
The Safe Choices on Screens bundle gives your family a calm, story-led way to talk about online safety — including what to do when something online doesn’t feel right. Storybook and Adult Toolkit. Just £19.99.